Life Sized Gears of War Lancer, Oh Gosh

Imagine that, the USD $139 Gears of War 2 bundle includes a life-sized plastic gun that goes “zoom zoom bang.” It comes with a removable handle clip and an adjustable side-handle but… in the end… it’s a plastic toy gun manufactured for adults.

Gears of War 2 is “Mature Audiences” only but apparently that doesn’t mean these adults aren’t ready and willing to go out and buy a bundle that comes with a collectible plastic weapon. It’s listed as an Amazon top-seller and plenty of mature audiences are going to be chasing each other around the house going “boom boom, I got you” this November.

Seriously, isn’t this just going over the top in terms of stupid toys? Somehow people seem to think this is “cool,” but how many would be straight-faced walking into a Starbucks and seeing a 40 year-old man sitting at the table sipping apple juice while playing with his GI Joe’s and He-Man action figures?

In my mind, this is a piece of junk that’s going to end up in a box under your staircase or packed in the attic within a month or collecting dust hiding from your grown up friends. But who am I to judge, Amazon #1 top-seller says it all.

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A level-58 character has a few options open for exploration with the Burning Crusade content being the most desirable starting point. However, quickly it became apparent that my professions of mining and skinning were useless in Hellfire and other Burning Crusade areas. Why? Professions start with a value of 1. The last expansion requires your professions to be roughly 300 before you can utilize them.

My level-58 Death Knight has no experience in the ways of skinning and mining, what has he been doing all his life? Apparently killing innocent people in small villages throughout the Eastern Plaguelands. My anticipation with leveling my Death Knight died knowing I’d spend the next few days hunting mines and killing animals as if I where a level-10 toon.

There I was, a high level character trolling Crossroads and Thousand Needles hunting for copper and tin and skinning all the low level creatures I could find. Why didn’t Blizzard consider this when they allow you to create a level-55 character on day one? If we don’t go off and grind our way to a profession level of 300 we might as well not even pick professions at all.

I was not alone in these findings, along my path I found several Death Knights with skinning knives and mining tools looking for open opportunities to cut into the earth or the dead animals skins all around them. Sure, we can kill a cat in seconds flat but the “grind” is what we wanted to avoid, this is what characters spend their first twenty levels doing!

After three sessions of mind numbing grinding I’ve managed to reach a skill of 340 in skinning and coming upon 200 in mining. Mining is still too low for high level game content so I must whisk myself away to noobville every so often to catch a few mythril nodes and pray for a gold deposit along the way.

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