Life Sized Gears of War Lancer, Oh Gosh

Imagine that, the USD $139 Gears of War 2 bundle includes a life-sized plastic gun that goes “zoom zoom bang.” It comes with a removable handle clip and an adjustable side-handle but… in the end… it’s a plastic toy gun manufactured for adults.

Gears of War 2 is “Mature Audiences” only but apparently that doesn’t mean these adults aren’t ready and willing to go out and buy a bundle that comes with a collectible plastic weapon. It’s listed as an Amazon top-seller and plenty of mature audiences are going to be chasing each other around the house going “boom boom, I got you” this November.

Seriously, isn’t this just going over the top in terms of stupid toys? Somehow people seem to think this is “cool,” but how many would be straight-faced walking into a Starbucks and seeing a 40 year-old man sitting at the table sipping apple juice while playing with his GI Joe’s and He-Man action figures?

In my mind, this is a piece of junk that’s going to end up in a box under your staircase or packed in the attic within a month or collecting dust hiding from your grown up friends. But who am I to judge, Amazon #1 top-seller says it all.

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This week’s episode has a lot of tangential videogame news, but the discussions turn in interesting directions. No Gaming Flashback or Gaming History unfortunately.

The news includes:

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  • Facebook apologizes to LGBTQ users, plans “substantive changes”
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No Question of the Week either – just ask us anything.

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This year many gamers will open new consoles for the holidays and many of those same gamers are going bring their console “live” on Xbox Live the same day. Traditionally we’ve found Xbox Live falls under the weight of the holiday rush much like Apple’s iTunes. Will we repeat history again?

Although a fully loaded Xbox Live service is money in the bank, how much money will Microsoft lose when gamers login for the first time to a service in a state of destruction? People say first impressions are extremely important, but Microsoft makes a poor first impression every holiday. Xbox Live’s Jerry Johnson told Eurogamer:

“I can tell you that when Robbie Bach is on the phone on Christmas Day calling people asking what the hell is going on, and that’s coming down from Steve Ballmer… that’s the kind of attention it got last holiday.

Many things have changed since then, and we realised [sic] the kind of growth trajectory we were on and had to prepare for it.” (Kotaku)

It’s obvious the top executives at Microsoft want to give customers a great first impression and, after a few repeated holiday down times, this year is the chance to change it all. By now, Microsoft should be fully aware of the holiday flash crowd and have a system ready to cover the load.

Plenty of gamers login because their console automatically signs in on startup, but a handful of those gameres will be shopping for Xbox Live Arcade games to see what Microsoft is now offering them and their new console. Many XBLA games the current 360 crowd is bored of will be fresh and new to holiday adopters so it’s very important to keep the system online.

Much like Amazon, sales will decrease when the service is busy or under heavy load. Hopefully Microsoft is ready to make a great first impression to new buyers and give them the option to buy high valued (high markup) electronic downloads.

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The initial download was roughly 1.8GB for what I assume would be “the DVD” you’d be buying in the store. Once I install that baseline it requires another roughly 1.2GB “update” before you can launch the application. Once you launch the WoW executable it must download another 500MB or so of patch data followed by another 100MB of patch data followed by another 500MB of patch data. Then, and only then, can you login and start playing!

My first option was to use the character I transferred over from Scarlet Crusade and jump into the world. Wishfully thinking, I also migrated over my addons to see what would work. After receiving more errors than I can explain I logged out and disabled all the addons. We’ll wait on those.

Within seconds I noticed the date in the top corner, it seems WoW has evolved over the years from a black vortex of time suckage to something a bit more user friendly. An older patch included a clock on the map so you know how many hours you’ve got before the sunrises, allowing you to sneak in a few hours of sleep before work. Now, they’ve included a calendar so you will know just how many days you’ve been up without food or drink. I kid.

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